Holding Therapeutic Conflict Without Losing the Client
Many therapists share a familiar experience: sensing that something important needs to be addressed — avoidance, withdrawal when challenged, topic-shifting when things become uncomfortable, insight without change — while hesitating to upset the client or strain the relationship. Sessions may remain empathic and emotionally attuned, yet momentum fades as pushing for change feels risky. Backing off feels safer — but the work quietly stalls.
Conflict between acceptance and change is not a phase of therapy. It is the work. When therapists avoid this conflict, therapy becomes safer — and less effective. When therapists push too hard, therapy becomes directive — and fragile.